I'm Sorry
by MoonWiccan6
Summary: Buffy tries to make things better with Giles after 'Revelations'. Voice on the Radio #3


Title: I'm Sorry (VotR 3)  
Author: Ripper's Girl  
Rating: FRT  
Summary: Buffy tries to make things better with Giles after 'Revelations' (Songfic)  
Spoilers: Becoming, Revelations  
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters; they are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy & UPN.  Delilah does not belong to me either, if you've never heard her radio program before. I'm Sorry belongs to Brenda Lee.  
Feedback: How else will I know if you like it?

Pairing: B/G friendship

Notes: [thoughts] //flashbacks (take place directly after the end of 'Crash & Burn')//

***************************************

Giles lay in his hospital bed wondering what number head injury this was. He'd lost track around ten. Sighing, he looked at the bedside clock again, only to see that a whole two minutes had passed since the last time he'd looked at it. He was worried about the others. He hoped someone would check in soon, to let him know that everything was all right. Sighing again, he realized that no matter how much he was worried about the others, his mind kept going back to the fact the Buffy had hid Angel from him. After what they'd gone through together last summer, he thought she had more respect for him than this. Apparently he'd been wrong.

//

She was up before him the next morning. She sat on the couch, huddled in the corner, looking up when he came down the stairs. She gave him a tentative smile before saying, "Good morning."

"Good morning," he replied, smiling back. He found it much easier to smile now that he knew she was safe.

"So…I guess we have to talk," Buffy said, not really wanting to talk, but knowing that it was inevitable.

Giles heard the hesitance in her voice and decided to give her a brief reprieve. "How about I make some breakfast first, while you go take a shower? Then we'll talk."

Buffy nodded, flashing him another brief smile before disappearing into the bathroom.

*******************

Buffy toyed with the rest of her eggs. She wasn't hungry, but she knew that once she put the fork down she'd have to start talking and she didn't know what to say. Sighing, she laid it down and looked up at Giles. "I'll just clear the dishes away," he said. "Why don't you make yourself comfortable on the couch?"

Buffy scrunched up in a corner of the couch and wrapped the blanket tightly around her. Giles didn't seem mad at her, but that didn't mean he wasn't. He had every right to be mad at her and she was just waiting for him to yell at her for being so stupid and then for running away.

Giles saw her sitting there, making herself as small as possible, and just wanted to hug her. Yes, he was upset that she had run, but he understood. He knew what it was like to screw up so badly that you didn't know what to do to make things right again and how running seemed like such a good answer. Now if he could only get her to understand that. He sat down in the opposite corner and waited for her to start.

Buffy waited for him to sit down before looking at him. She searched his eyes carefully and saw only affection and concern in them. Taking a deep breath she said, "I'm sorry."

"I know. I just want to help."

"Why?" she asked. Not understanding how he seemed to have already forgiven her.

Moving closer he said, "Do you remember what you said to me after Eyghon? 'Apart from being a little weird…'" He trailed off as he saw that he had managed to coax a smile out of her. Reaching out he took one of her hands. "I know what it's like to feel responsible for the death and pain of others. I know how much it hurts and how much you want to make it right, but can't. How easy it is to think running is the answer." He watched her as he talked and saw a mixture of emotions run across her face: sadness, pain, relief, affection. He saw the tears running down her cheeks, but knew they were good tears, healing tears. "Anything you'd like to add to that?"

Buffy wiped the tears from her cheeks. "You kind of took the words right out of my mouth. I just…I didn't know what to do. Everything starting with my 17th birthday just kept getting worse and worse and so many bad things happened because of me." She had to pause, because she had started crying in earnest. Giles just pulled her into his arms and rocked her gently until she had gotten control of herself. "Thanks," she said, sniffling. "And then, just when I thought things couldn't possibly get any worse, they did. Kendra died. You were kidnapped. The gang was hurt. My mom kicked me out of the house. And then…then, just before I sent him to Hell, he got his soul back." She stopped talking then, crying too hard to continue.

Giles just barely managed to keep the look of horror off his face. He knew Willow had been trying to do the spell, but he didn't know it had worked. As glad as he was that Angel was gone, he'd gladly take him back if it meant that Buffy hadn't had to go through that. He was impressed with her ability to do the right thing, despite the cost. She'd had enough trouble working up the ability to kill Angelus, and then to be forced to kill the man she loved to save the world. No wonder the poor girl had run. "I'm so sorry, Buffy. I had no idea."

She shrugged self-consciously, taking deep breaths to try and get herself back under control. She could hear the sympathy in his voice and wondered how he managed to sound so sincere after everything Angelus had down to him. "You didn't know. How could you? It's not like I was around." She was staring at her feet, still waiting for Giles to get mad and yell. Almost wishing he would.

He took her chin in his hand and turned her so she was facing him. "Running may not have been the brightest idea you've ever had, but I understand why you did it. Not to say I wasn't upset, because I was. Mainly because I was worried about you. I didn't know if you were okay or not. But like I said, I understand why you left. Why you felt you had to. I need you to understand though, that you don't have to. No matter what you do, I will always be here for you." He then found himself with a crying slayer in his arms, yet again.

//

He had let her stay there one more night before insisting that she go home and see her mother. He'll admit that he liked having her there in his house. Where he could see her and not worry quite as much about her. They had agreed not to tell anyone that she had been there. Her mother, as she put it, would have "had a cow."

After that night, he thought they'd gotten closer. She came to him when she needed someone to talk to, almost as much as she went to Willow. But then she had hidden this from him and he couldn't help but feel hurt and betrayed by her.

He was about to check the clock for what must have been the thousandth time, when he heard a noise at the door. He looked up to see her standing there, with much the same look as she had had that summer night when she showed up at his doorstep.

Tentatively, she stepped into the room and pulled up one of the chairs next to his bed. Reaching out, her hand stopped just shy of the bandage on his head, staying there a moment, before dropping back to her side. "It's a good thing you have such a hard head," she said jokingly, but her voice was thick.

"Did everything go all right tonight?" he asked.

Buffy looked down at her lap. "The glove is history as well as Post and there were no injuries, except for yours, of course."

"Good."

"Giles, I'm so sorry," she blurted out.

"Why?" he asked tiredly. "I thought…"

"I don't know why," she answered. At his look she continued, "At least not completely. I knew Angel's being back would hurt you. And after everything we've gone through, I didn't want to hurt you again. But I had to help him. I was the one who sent him to Hell. I wanted to try and figure out why he was back before I sprung him on you. I just…I didn't know how to tell you he was back. Part of me was scared to tell you. I didn't know how you'd react and I just…I guess I just wanted to pretend for a while. Pretend that last year hadn't happened. That I hadn't screwed everything up so badly."

"Buffy," he said quietly, trying to cut short her rambling before it got any longer. Not that he didn't appreciate the explanation, but his head already hurt and sometimes trying to follow what his slayer was saying required a lot more energy then he currently had.

Buffy finally looked up at him and blurted out one last thing, "Please don't hate me!"

He reached for her hand and squeezed it gently. "Buffy, I could never hate you. I am upset and disappointed that you didn't tell me this, but I don't hate you. I know you felt you had your reasons, but we agreed that you would come to me with these things."

A lone tear slid down Buffy's cheek. "I know. All I can say is I'm sorry and I promise you I will never do it again." Giles simply gave her a small smile to let her know that eventually things would be okay. The conversation had exhausted him however and he quickly fell asleep. Buffy reached up and allowed herself the luxury of brushing his hair back this time. "I'll make it up to you, Giles," she whispered. "I promise."

Giles woke up the next morning and found a note on the table beside him.

Hey Giles-

You conked out on me so I headed home to get some sleep myself. You're kinda cute when you sleep, did you know that? Anyways, I'll see you at school today. I was gonna do a song for you, but I noticed you didn't have a radio in your room, plus the fact that you were, ya know, sleeping. Wow, who'd have thought I could even manage to ramble in a note. Anyways, since you weren't actually awake for Delilah, I brought you a song to listen to. It's track number 8.

You're always there for me Giles and I know I've never said it, but I hope that you know that I care about you and I…well I love you Giles. You're one of my best friends. See you later.

Love,

Buffy

Giles smiled at the note and picked up the Discman. Looking at it for a few minutes, he finally figured out how to get it to the right track number and listened to the song that started to play.

I'm sorry, so sorry  
That I was such a fool  
I didn't know  
Love could be so cruel  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Uh-oh, Oh, yes

You tell me mistakes  
Are part of being young  
But that don't right  
The wrong that's been done

(I'm sorry) I'm sorry  
(So sorry) So sorry  
Please accept my apology  
But love is blind  
And I was to blind to see  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Uh-oh, Oh, yes

You tell me mistakes  
Are part of being young  
But that don't right  
The wrong that's been done  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Uh-oh, Oh, yes

I'm sorry, so sorry  
Please accept my apology  
But love was blind  
And I was too blind to see  
(Sorry)

He took the headphones off and gave a small laugh. Only Buffy would say she was sorry with an old country western song. He knew she was trying, though, and it went a long way to healing his hurt heart. He knew that eventually they'd be okay.


End file.
